


Revenge in Gingerbread

by pixiealtaira



Series: Advent Drabbles 2016 [8]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:28:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25871386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pixiealtaira/pseuds/pixiealtaira
Summary: Day 8 Advent drabbles: naughty gingerbreadRevenge really is sweet.
Series: Advent Drabbles 2016 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1871245
Kudos: 17





	Revenge in Gingerbread

Rachel had been on his case since the Mall Santa fiasco. She blamed him. Her and Santana? Had had Nothing to do with it, apparently. Kurt, of course had video evidence that said otherwise, but he wasn’t quite ready to start playing it at random times or post it all over the NYADA and Broadway WannaBe blogs.

That point wasn’t far off.

He’d heard all about how his ‘sexy times’ had cost them gifts and all their Christmas decorations and stuff. He’d heard about the noises he was supposedly making (both Rachel and Santana were out and snoring and he hadn’t made any noise that sounded like a mouse being stepped on, thank you Santana, or like a badly played flute, thank you Rachel). He’d heard about how horrid he looked trying to be sexy and how nasty his chest was. Santana was standing in underwear while telling him this, and frankly he found her just as unappealing and nausea inducing. Rachel had banned him from bringing anyone to the loft for anything even remotely dealing with sex…while screaming at him about how she didn’t want to hear it and think about two guys doing those type of things in her space. (Kurt’s reminder that technically the loft was his only got things thrown at him.) (Kurt also was told that he had no say in who either girl brought home…because even if he was gay he should get off on their sex sounds…like any good porn. Kurt’s response to that was to threaten to tape them and start playing the tape to anyone who would listen to see if they agreed. Rachel screeched and Santana threatened to cut him. He refused to cook for them anymore. Santana relented in a day. Rachel was eating out. They were at a stale mate.)

Kurt honestly was sick of it and he was especially tired of all the fuss and having it directed at him. He was tired of the tantrums tossed when he informed them he wasn’t replacing everything with his money, especially considering Santana wasn’t even paying rent. They were just as responsible for the loss as he was and they could foot some of the replacement costs.

(They hadn’t lost as much as Rachel screamed about to the theft. Kurt found about half of the stuff Rachel insisted was stolen stuffed in the closet in Rachel’s room and another section of stuff Santana had said was stolen stuffed under the sofa. Now, he wasn’t sure if they’d stuffed it on purpose, or if it had all been pushed into places while cleaning for Mall Santa to come over, or when Rachel decided to decorate for Christmas and declared everything she didn’t deem Christmassy enough unable to be seen, or what….but it wasn’t stolen. All Kurt’s missing signed playbills were in the stash in Rachel’s closet.)

Needless to say, after another day of listening to Rachel scream about how his ‘uncontrollable libido’ had ruined her perfect New York Christmas and it was His Fault (he hadn’t invited the guy back to their place in the first place…he hadn’t brought out the alcohol…he hadn’t drunk so much he passed out…all he’d done was get frisky), Kurt had been irate as he left the loft to go shopping to replace some of Rachel’s lost Christmas items…on his dime.

He wasn’t getting her stupid Christmas Teapot and Teacups and Saucers at any sort of department store, thank you very much Ms. Barry, especially when he was perfectly aware she had bought them at a the thrift store in Lima when she wanted to impress Finn way back when they were in tenth grade. Kurt called around and located an inside flea market not too far away and headed there.

He was looking to replace the teapot after finding the exact replacements for the missing teacups and saucers…except the detailing was gold and not silver which had been on their originals. The table that looked most promising had loads of other baking goods as well and Kurt decided to explore.

A box nestled amongst cookies sheets and large glass mixing bowls was labeled NSFW.

Which was odd. Kurt’s curiosity got the better of him and he peeked inside.

He held his laugh of delight maybe fifteen seconds.

The gentleman selling the items wished him a very jolly holiday and hoped he had great company to share his find with. He and his other half would miss them but they had tots who were aware enough to ask questions and so the box had to find a new home.

Kurt was delighted to provide it.

He found a teapot for Rachel on the way out of the flea market.

He stopped for the ingredients to make gingerbread and sugar cookies on the way home.

Kurt spent the afternoon baking. Baking and singing Christmas songs. Baking and finding Christmas songs that weren’t…proper. Baking and learning those Christmas songs.

When Rachel got back to the loft and lit into him for not going and replacing her teapot and teacups with the ones she wanted from the department store but instead replacing them with what had ‘gone missing’ and then yelled and complained about his libido and the stress his sexy times had induced and the effect it was having on her voice and her winter showcase performance and how he was thus costing her her whole future, Kurt smiled. Rachel should have stopped at seeing it. 

“Rachel, would you like a cookie?” Kurt asked.

“Yes! I haven’t had anything homemade and decent in ages. I mean, I cook just as good as you, but I haven’t had time. And since you are being such a brat and don’t realize that your job here is to cook since you know, you aren’t going to school, and have been refusing to do so, I’ve had to eat out and that is so not the best for my health. I can’t control the freshness of things, you know. Like how much lemon was put in my tea this morning? I don’t know? Was it too much? Don’t think bribery is going to fix this!” Rachel yelled, while reaching into the cookie tin.

She had taken two bites before she screamed.

“What?! Kurt! How could you?! Is this…? Two Gingerbread men? This is….filthy!” Rachel hissed.

Kurt smiled slowly. “Really Rachel? I think your Fathers should know about how you view their relationship. What can I say, though? Since I can’t express my out of control libido by ‘sexy times’ with anyone, I had to find another outlet. Enjoy.”

Rachel screamed again and stomped off to find the ‘real’ cookies. There were none. All cookies that existed before were gone. 

Kurt sat back on the sofa with his feet up and watched her tear through the kitchen looking for non-naughty cookies and finding nothing.

He had smirked as he bit into a sugar cookie couple doing it doggy style.

He had made dozens of naughty cookies and he planned on leaving them out…on plates. So anyone who visited would see them.

This is what they were all getting until they stopped harping on him about Santa.


End file.
